How NOT to Take a Shelf Off Your Bar Wall (and What I Learned in the Process)

There are probably a lot of ways to remove a shelf from your bar wall, but here’s one method I definitely do not recommend:

The shelf in question (after removal)

Come up from underneath it, hit it with your head with enough force to knock the shelf—and all the glasses it was holding—off the wall and onto the floor. Spoiler alert: This does not make for a great day.

Here’s what does make the list of great things:

• I’m okay! Beth, my incredible wife, took me to the ER. After some tests, I’m happy to report there’s no brain bleed or fracture. I have a slight concussion, but it can be managed with Tylenol and Advil.
• Somehow, the shelf and all the glasses missed me! I wasn’t cut or injured by falling glass. A true stroke of luck.
• Beth is amazing. This incident was another reminder that I have an awesome wife who not only takes care of me but tolerates my dad jokes in the ER.
• Great friends make all the difference. Ken Holt stepped in to pick up Tom’s stuff for Peterloon since we couldn’t deliver it ourselves. Grateful doesn’t even begin to cover it.
• Dogs just know. When we got home, our dog Jesse seemed to sense something was off. He crawled in bed next to me. He replaced  his favorite duck toy with my arm instead.
• Some scotch glasses survived, but others didn’t. Tommy’s glasses survived, but my Kasteel Rouge glass and a crystal glass from Scotland shattered. But hey, those are just things—things can be replaced.
• A lucky break. Here’s where it gets wild: When we painted the bar, we took the shelf down. When I put it back up, I didn’t install the extra screw that secures it to the wall. If I had put the screw in, the shelf wouldn’t have given way when I hit it. Instead, my head and neck would have taken the full blow, which could have caused worse injuries.

What I learned from this:

Life has a funny way of teaching us lessons when we least expect it. I’m walking away from this experience with a few broken glasses, a small headache, and a whole lot of gratitude for the people—and the dog—that make my life better every day.