📖 The Wild Roller Coaster Ride
A few years ago, I promised my son Joe that I’d ride a roller coaster with him. The year before, he wasn’t tall enough to ride the big coasters at Cedar Point, an amusement park in northern Ohio. I figured I was safe—a year was plenty of time for him to forget. But the following year, Joe had grown tall enough, and he certainly hadn’t forgotten.
“Dad, remember when you said we’d ride a roller coaster?” he asked, his eyes lighting up with excitement.
“Sure,” I replied nervously. “What did you have in mind?”
He pointed to the…Top. Thrill. Dragster.
This shouldn’t have come as a surprise. It was the tallest, scariest ride in the park. It was the obvious choice for Joe—the kid who, shortly after learning to walk, started standing up on the back of the sofa and laughing at us.
At the time, the Top Thrill Dragster shot you out of the gate at 120 miles per hour, climbed 420 feet straight up, twisted, then plummeted 420 feet straight down. The entire ride lasted just 23 seconds.
Do you have any idea what that does to a 45-year-old body?
Because I don’t.
“Joe,” I said, “I agreed to ride a roller coaster with you. I did not say today is a good day to die.”
After some intense negotiation, we settled on the Magnum XL 200—an “only” 240-foot-tall coaster. As soon as we agreed, his face lit up. “This is going to be epic, Dad!”
As we approached the ride, I heard him— a chicken I like to call Fraidy Cat Phil. I named Fraidy Cat Phil after me because he’s been with me for the longest time.
The conversation went something like this:
FRAIDY CAT PHIL: Are you clucking kidding me? Did you look at this coaster? You aren’t 25 anymore.
ME: I read something recently: ‘If you can see it, you can be it!’ All I need to do is see myself at 25 years old again!
FC PHIL: You at 25? That’s a vision: Acid-washed jeans, a Members Only jacket… don’t forget the fanny pack!
ME: I’m 25… I’m 25…
The whole time we were in line, I kept saying to myself, “I’m 25… I’m 25.”
It was a great idea… for a while.
By the time we got to the coaster, I felt like I was 25 again. So when Joe said, “Hey Dad, want the front car?” I thought WW25YOPD (What would 25-year-old Phil do?) and I said, “Sure!”
FRAIDY CAT PHIL: Oh great choice—this won’t come back to bite you in the…
FOWL-MOUTHED FRANK (interrupting): Oh, let me say what it will bite him in! Please? Please?
Their squawking was interrupted by the sound of the bar locking in place and the chain drive pulling us up the first hill.
ME: I’m 25… I’m 25…
At 50 feet, I opened my eyes and looked down. Bad choice.
ME: I’m 30… I’m 30…
At 100 feet, I turned 35.
For every 50 feet we climbed, I aged another five years. If we had gone on the Top Thrill Dragster, I would have died of old age!
At the very top, 240 feet off the ground, I felt every bit of my 45 years.
FRAIDY CAT PHIL: Are you kidding me? It’s snowing up here!
ME: It’s not that bad.
FC PHIL: Look at the car behind us—there’s a sherpa!
FOWL-MOUTHED FRANK: Maybe he could belay us down and get us the cluck out of here!
And then—we dropped.
For two minutes and 15 seconds, Fraidy Cat Phil never shut up. He had a lot to say. None of it was helpful.
FC PHIL (up and down the hills): Yoooooouuuu fool.Yoooooouuu’re old! What were you thinking? Never ever ever again!
Finally, the ride ended. My palms were sweaty. I could barely feel my legs. And just as I started wondering why I agreed to this, I caught a whiff of something in the air.
Cedar Point had built this coaster downwind from a Panda Express.
FOWL-MOUTHED FRANK: I can smell Orange Chicken. What kind of sick joke is this?
I realized it was going to be okay when I looked at my son.
When I looked over at Joe. His smile lit up the entire park.
“Dad, that was awesome!” he said.
And just like that, the squawking stopped. Fraidy Cat Phil had been fried.
⚛ Science: Comfort Zone, Stress, and Performance (Yerkes-Dodson Law)
A 1908 study by Yerkes and Dodson tested Japanese dancing mice (because apparently, that was cutting-edge research back then). They found that moderate stress improved performance. Too little? The mice learned slowly. Too much? They panicked.
The same applies to us. A little pressure makes us better, but too much turns us into nervous wrecks.
Stepping onto that coaster was my Yerkes-Dodson moment. Too little stress—staying on the ground—would have meant missing out. Too much stress—riding the Top Thrill Dragster—would have been too much. But Magnum XL 200? Just the right amount of discomfort to create an unforgettable experience.
💡 The Takeaway: Step Out, Strap In, Silence the Chickens
✅ Turn Fear into Fuel: Use fear to push you forward instead of holding you back.
✅ Create Bonds Through Shared Experiences: Facing challenges together strengthens relationships.
✅ Focus on the Thrill, Not the Fear: The fear fades, but the memory lasts forever.
Sometimes, you’ve just got to step out, strap in, silence the chickens, and enjoy the ride.